My husband and I were married for 4 years when we found out that I was expecting our first child. No, we didn't wait 4 years, which felt like an eternity, on purpose. We tried everything we could to conceive our first child. We tried natural methods by timing my cycle and using ovulation tests. When that didn't work in our favor, we decided to speak to a specialist. We went through the process of blood work, sperm analysis, ultrasounds and scans, and endless evaluations. I felt drained physically and mentally ... to say I was exhausted would be an understatement. The one thing a person feels like a woman should be able to do, I couldn't seem to conquer. Most people think that concept would come easy, in retrospect it does, for most couples. However, the reality is that natural conception does not happen so easily for others.
The battles that I faced every month for 4 years was the hardest fight I ever had to take on. I suffered approximately 7 miscarriages, 1 stillbirth, and I had 3 false positives home pregnancy tests.
The hardest thing about a miscarriage is the receiving confirmation of pregnancy, all to feel a void that's so empty, it hurts emotionally than it does physically. My stillbirth happened in 2012, when I was 24 weeks pregnant. At the 20-week milestone, I finally thought, "this is it." I was happy to share the news and cherish the months to come. Four weeks later, I was suddenly saddened when I felt cramps in my lower abdomen that become increasingly painful. I went to the ER and the on-call OB (Obstetrician) gave me the news - "we aren't able to detect a heartbeat." I only remember feeling numb, and unable to process any information.
Over the next 3 years we continued to try to conceive with both naturally, and with medical intervention. For 1 year, we tried to naturally conceive but my husband and I were without knowledge regarding what questions to ask. I decided to talk to my husband about seeing a specialist. It was a little difficult to ignore the radio advertisements for local, highly recommended fertility clinics. We called and set up our appointment to speak with the consultant. The process started very quickly. We made our appointments to complete blood work at the lab. Once the results we received in the fertility clinic, I was called in for an intrauterine ultrasound, and my husband for a sperm analysis. The results from my ultrasound were heartbreaking. I found out that the D&Cs were not complete, I had polyps in my uterus, and the doctor cut the wall of my uterus which left scar tissue. The fertility specialist was able to remove the scar tissue and polyps - which had to be tested for cancer cells and help give us a greater chance to successfully conceive. After 1.5 years of fertility treatment, we didn't have a term pregnancy. All we had to show for was 7 miscarriages and 3 false positive tests. Emotionally we were drained and prayed for a miracle.
We took a break for 6 months to clear our minds and talk to Christ. We had a long discussion about our options; whether we should try fertility treatment again or consider fostering a child or adoption. We decided that adopting was the best option for us we spoke to an agency counselor to start the steps to adoption. We took a small vacation to give ourselves a moment to enjoy one another and being married because we realized that amid our journey to conceive, we lost the joy of just being with each other. We were required to attend a potential adoptive parents meeting, two and a half months later. I felt ill the morning of the meeting and thought that my nerves had gotten the better of me. Although I was reluctant, 2 days later, I worked up the nerve to take a Clear Blue home pregnancy test...it was positive. I was in shock but didn't want to get my hopes up. I met with who is now my current OB/Gyn and it was confirmed. I provided all my medical records from the specialist and my previous doctor, after reading reviewing them she recommended I see her every 2 weeks rather than once a month, she wanted to monitor me and the baby closely. It was a blessing to carry to term.
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